John Carrier

I have not written much, if anything, on this blog about the child that my wife and I are expecting. Maybe it’s because this is too much of a cat blog already, and maybe it’s out of fear of compromising the little darling’s privacy online before she’s even born. In any case I am incredibly excited and happy about it, so I thought I should finally share.

She’s definitely a Carrier: She’s big, she’s healthy, she has a good head of hair, and she’s late.  The ultrasound technician estimated that she weighs 9 lbs., give or take a pound.  My two sons, now 11 and 13, were 9-10 lbs. each and both born with a full head of hair.  The oldest came about 2 weeks after his due date.  Their father is late for absolutely everything.  And this new baby is definitely a girl; the technician was as certain as one can be from an unltrasound image.

We don’t know when she’s coming.  My money (or at least $3 of it) is on Wednesday.  I hesitate to post the final date and stats on this blog, as date and place of birth are the kind of information now used to verify people’s identity when logging on to one’s bank account.

What do you think of the privacy issues presented by sharing an event like this?  The last thing I want is for someone to a) rob my house while she’s being born or b) stealing the baby’s identity 20 years from now based on our birth announcement being dug out of the Google cache.  Comments?

Of the great Rabbi Akiba and his wife Rachel, “it is related that once, when a bundle of straw was the only bed they possessed, a poor man came to beg some straw for a bed for his sick wife. Akiba at once divided with him his scanty possession, remarking to his wife, ‘Thou seest, my child, there are those poorer than we!’ This pretended poor man was none other than the prophet Elijah, who had come to test Akiba.” (Ned. 50a, from Wikipedia).

I know times are tough.

I know the US economy is the worst it has been since the Great Depression. In response to my appeals to help Chai Lifeline, at least 3 people have said, “John, I’d love to help, but I’m out of work right now, and I simply can’t.” I can dig that.

When I signed up to run this marathon and meet this fundraising goal for Chai Lifeline, I was out of work, too. It gave me more time to run, but it was hell on my PowerAde and sneaker budget, not to mention my confidence in the future. As a consultant most of my jobs are measured in weeks or months, if not hours. Usually, my projects line up one after the other, with little or no break in between. This time, the break lasted two months. So I get it, believe me. By the grace of God, I’m working again, and I can even afford to take off a couple of days for a little jog in Las Vegas.

The same sages from the Jewish tradition who tell us we are morally obligated to give 10% to 20% of out net income to charity ALSO say that we are FORBIDDEN to give a dime until our own and our family’s basic needs are met, lest by our charitable giving we become a burden on our brothers, too. So if you really can’t give, please, please don’t.

But if you can…

Please Sponsor My Marathon For Chai Lifeline

Checking my progress toward the $3,600 goal — 40 sponsors have given a total of $2,523 — I noticed that the lowest sponsorship amount has been $18. And I’m not knocking my $18 sponsors; far from it. I’m wondering why I don’t have any sponsors at $10, or $5.

My message today is this: If you feel like you want to help, but you can’t justify $18 right now, consider $10. If $10 is a stretch — and I know I’ve had times recently where $10 is a stretch — consider lucky number $7. This is Vegas we’re talking about, after all.

Please Sponsor My Marathon For Chai Lifeline

When times are as bad as they are now, everyone hurts — you, me, and even great organizations like Chai Lifeline whose donor pools dry up and whose endowments shrink with the stock market. As family budgets shrink, it’s more important than ever that we be careful with our giving. Your donation to Chai Lifeline is 100% tax-deductible, with 83 cents on the dollar going straight to programs like Camp Simcha and 17 cents going to organize and promote the race. It’s also more important than ever to help families with seriously ill children — facing their own budget crises AND soaring medical costs — have access to Chai Lifeline’s totally free programs.

Time is short. I have 10 days to raise $1,077, and just $10 from you could make all the difference in the world, not just to me, but to the families of Chai Lifeline as well.

Please Sponsor My Marathon For Chai Lifeline

Thanks again for reading and for your consideration. May God bless you in these difficult times.

A couple of months ago I started volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House near the University of Minnesota campus.  On any given night, this house lodges 48 families from all over the US and around the world, so that families can stay close to their children who are fighting a serious illnesses with the help of area hospitals that specialize in treating those illnesses.
 
My job as a housewarmer is to help keep the house clean and organized, the pantries stocked with donated food and supplies, the kids entertained, and the parents comfortable and a little less stressed out.  During my first few weeks there I learned two surprising things.
 
First, Ronald McDonald House does not serve burgers and fries for every meal.  Actually, dinner is made and served every night by volunteer groups from all over the Twin Cities, and the house kitchens are stocked with a variety of nutritious foods for other meals.  Who knew? 

Second, the one thing a kid with a major pediatric illnesses needs (besides treatment) is to just be a normal kid, as normal as possible under the circumstances, and so do their brothers and sisters.

The parents at the house appreciate having a place to stay that allows them to keep their families together while a child receives treatment from a hospital far away from their home, but what the kids really appreciate is Go-Cart Night, Wii Night, Movie night, horsing around in the gym, and dressing up for Halloween. 

These kinds of normal, everyday activities are critical to maintaining the morale of young patients and their young siblings while the whole family works together to fight the illness.

Another important way that a kid can “just be a kid” is to go to summer camp.  You would think that an ordinary summer camp experience is impractical for a kid who needs ongoing medical supervision and treatment.  You would think that an ordinary camp is financially out of reach for siblings in a family whose resources are totally consumed by medical expenses.  I would have thought so, too, until I heard about Chai Lifeline and its flagship programs, Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special. 

Camp Simcha is one of the only camps that can accommodate children in active cancer treatment; camp physicians administer chemotherapy in camp. Camp Simcha Special is the only camp capable of managing more than 65 disparate medical diagnoses.  Like all Chai Lifeline programs, both camps are free of charge to families, and this makes donor support all the more important.

I’m running the Las Vegas Marathon because I’ve seen first-hand how something as normal as summer camp can be at once critically important and seemingly out of reach for familities dealing with major pediatric illness. 

I believe in Chai Lifeline and what they are doing.  I believe in it so strongly that I’m going to run 26.2 miles to promote their cause, and I’m going to tell as many people and send as many emails as it takes to reach my fundraising goal of $3,600 by Chai Lifeline’s deadline of November 30, 2008.

The good news is, I’m 42% of the way there.  So far I have raised $1,503 from 22 sponsors.  If you translate that into a marathon distance, it’s like I’ve already run 11 miles of the total 26.2, and let me tell you, 11 miles is no mean feat.  I am honored and humbled by all the support I’ve gotten so far, but to get the rest of the way, I’m going to need your help.

I know times are tough.  I know $2,097 is a lot to raise in just 17 days.  But I also know it’s worth a shot for the sake of these kids, and I know I can do it with your help.

Remember that your sponsorship of me is 100% tax-deductible, and out of every dollar they donate, fully 83 cents goes straight to Chai Lifeline programs, with the remaining 17 cents going to race registration and administration, which raises awareness of Chai Lifeline on race day in Vegas and in all the communities we runners are coming from.  A friend of mine who works with a lot of charities tells me that a 17% cost of fundraising is extraordinarily efficient in the not-profit world.

To get more information about Chai Lifeline and to donate online, please click this link:
 
http://www.teamlifeline.org/mypage.php?myid=55555

If you’re considering sponsoring me, please do it today.  Many people have told me that they intend to sponsor me — if you already have, thank you — but time is running out, and I have to get all donations to Chai Lifeline by November 30th for it to count toward my goal.
 
Finally, please help me spread the word.  Take a few moments to link to this post on your own site or to email a link  to anyone you know who might feel moved to help Chai Lifeline, who likes the vicarious runner’s high of sponsoring a marathon, or who just needs a tax deduction this year.  Two of my sponsors are people I’ve never met before, meaning there are already those among you who believe in me and Chai Lifeline enough to share this opportunity with others.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for considering sponsoring me as I run in Las Vegas for Chai Lifeline.  I know I can cross the finish line with your help.

Last night I got an email confirming my volunteering gig at a local Ronald McDonald House.  I start in a couple of weeks and I’m going to be a “Housewarmer” once a week for three hours.  I could not be more pumped about this.

The quest to become a rabbi has prompted me to make a pretty thorough inventory of my life, my values, my commitments, and my priorities.  One area where I feel I really come up short is in doing volunteer work.  I’ve been studying a lot of scripture (I mean a LOT of scripture), studying Hebrew in order to study even MORE scripture, praying regularly once to three times a day, watching the “purity” of my diet, and getting better at doing less “work” on the Sabbath.  I’ve been plumbing the depths of contemporary theology and drafting essays about the key challenges facing Judaism and the Conservative Movement today. 

What have I left out?  Helping people.

Rabbi Robert Kahn gave a brief drash during a recent weekday minyan where he explored the beginning of the Amidah, a litany of blessings, requests and prayers of thanksgiving Jews are invited to recite three times a day.  The Amidah starts by acknowledging who god is: our God and God of our ancestors.  Then it says what God is: great and holy, and some other stuff.  Finally it talks about what God does, and the first of these is “doer of acts of loving kindness.”  Rabbi Kahn’s interpretation:  In this prayer, the first thing God actually DOES is acts of loving kindness…not creating, not plagueing, not smiting, but helping those in need of help.

 It is said that studying the scripture is the chief commandment among all others because it leads to all others.  It’s about time my study prompted me to act.  Stay tuned for the further adventures of John in Ronald McDonald House.

BTW, and this busted my myth, too:  Ronald McDonald House does not serve exclusively burgers and fries.

I think most people are wrong about love.  Statistically, that means you are wrong about love, too.

This is something I’ve been ruminating on for a while, but my initial desire to make a single, complete statement on the subject has prevented me thus far from voicing the essential kernel of the idea and simply starting a conversation.

The kernel, in a nutshell, is this:

There are two broad categories of verbs: Normal and Non-Continuous.  I won’t go into complete definition here but suffice it to say that Normal Verbs include observable actions…run, jump, vote, and wiggle.  Non-Continuous Verbs include abstract notions that cannot be seen…want, cost, care, and own.

My thesis is that the majority of people (henceforth: Group A) think of the verb “to love” in its Non-Continuous sense.  Group A thinks “to love” means to sense affection or attraction for someone or something.  I know I love chocolate because I get a good feeling (unobservable) when I eat it.

I (Group B) think that the full expression of the verb “to love” requires the kind of observable action that puts it squarely in the Normal category.  I love my wife by remarking on her fine qualities and making her coffee just the way she likes it.

Which is to say, “True love is completely normal.”

Furthermore, the more people who switch from Group A to Group B, the more observable positive change we will see, both on a personal and on a global level.  We need to stop loving humanity by feeling good about the existence of others and start handing out free rice.  We need to stop loving our children by crying when they don’t call and start loving them by getting involved in their lives so they DO call.

Who’s with me?

Who’s against me?

I have a lot more to say on this, but I’d like to hear other voices first.  Please leave a comment below, or better yet, take it up on your own blog and send me a link to your thoughts.