John Carrier

This weekend my wife and I watched season 3 of Weeds on DVD while we sorted through our junk in preparation for our move to Los Angeles.  I love Weeds.  One scene that got stuck in my mind was when Shane is riding in a Mexican drug lord’s limosine to his first day at a new school.  A henchman gives him the sage advice, “Sometimes you eat the bear; sometimes the bear eats you.”

This adage was all I could think about as I completed my Mishnah & Tosefta placement exam for rabbinical school in the wee hours of the morning.  When I went online to email my exam to the dean, I googled the saying to find its source.  Turns out, it’s The Big Lebowski.

I finished the exam not knowing who had eaten whom.  I was at once mentally exhausted, humbled by my own ignorance, and proud of deciphering as much as I did, knowing how far it means I’ve come with my Hebrew (regardless of how far I have to go).  It was actually kind of “fun”…in the sense the rabbinical school deans and others told me my admissions interviews would be “fun”.

Which I guess presents me with an awkward segue for the highlights of what has happened since my last post.

My wife gave birth to our daughter.  My wife is awesome.  Our daughter is perfect.

I have run two marathons — Knoxville, 3/29/09, 6:23ish and Minneapolis, 5/31/09, 5:26:30.  The former I ran with virtually no training — and generally under-slept — about 6 weeks after my daughter was born.  I was dead last among the people who finished the race in under the 7 hour mark.  I zig-zagged the last 50 yards because they’d taken all the bunting off the finish line and I couldn’t find it.  I learned my lesson, trained harder, and finished Minneapolis in my second-best time out of my 4 marathons run to date.

I picked a rabbinical school.  This fall I will begin learning at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies, on the gorgeous Los Angeles campus of American Jewish University (formerly known as University of Judaism, or the UJ).

We picked an apartment.  We found a great place in the heart of the Pico-Robertson neighborhood of Los Angeles, just south of Beverly Hills and just east of Century City, less than 8 miles from the Pacific Ocean.

Now we’re getting ready to move to Los Angeles.  I can’t believe it.  The couple of months since my last post have been like the culmination of the total dream-come-true that my last couple of years have been.  My life now revolves around my great wife and three great kids, making beer, running marathons, and serving God.  How awesome is that? 

Sure, there have been ups and downs, but in all, I’m glad I took a shot at the bear.  I think I nailed it.

Thanks for being there.

About a year ago, I read a little book by a big thinker, Seth Godin’s The Dip.  A principal idea of the book was that it pays to be the best in the world at something (however narrowly you define “best”, “world”, and “something”), and in order to do that, you should be prepared to quit other things so that you can focus your time and resources on what you want to be best at.

While “quitting” often carries a negative connotation, in the context of serving a higher goal, it can be the right thing to do.

Lately I’ve had to quit some things that I really enjoy and feel strongly about to serve the higher goal of being the best husband and father, if not in the world, than at least within the reasonable expectations of my family.  I was balancing several important and rewarding (to me) responsibilities before the baby came along.  Now that we have a new, beautiful, healthy, and incredibly demanding member of the family, and now that we need to start preparing for an interstate move (stay tuned!), I’ve had to quit most of them.

I quit volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House.  It was an awesome experience, one I hope to return to one day, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone looking for a regular volunteering gig.  I completed my initial six-month commitment, the end of which I knew would coincide with the birth of our daughter.

I quit training and fundraising for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training Century Ride in Lake Tahoe this summer.  The event comes when we’ll likely be in the middle of a move, and as I don’t own a bike, I can’t afford the time or the expense of starting a whole new sport now.  It’s a great cause that I’d love to get involved with again someday soon.

I haven’t quit my Beer Judge Certification Program class, but I’ve had to skip several sessions, either to keep up with my job or help out with the baby.  The instructor has been gracious and generous enough to let me stay in the class and sit for the exam in April, so with a lot of studying (and sampling!) I may become a certified beer judge yet, despite my lackluster attendance.

All this is to say, if you feel like you’re spreading yourself too thin to give your best in all the things that are important to you, don’t be afraid to prioritize your commitments and quit a few that aren’t at the tippy-top of your list.  Quitting isn’t always a bad thing…take smoking, for example.  Don’t be afraid of appearing inconsistent or inconsiderate; just keep your higher goals in mind.  Remember: Quitting one thing may be necessary to be the best in the world at something else.

What’s something you loved that you quit to focus on something else?

I just joined Team In Training (TNT) to raise funds and awareness for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  While my preferred endurance event is the marathon, this time I chose to participate in America’s Most Beautiful Bike Ride, a one-day, 100-mile bicycle ride on the shores of Lake Tahoe in Nevada.  The event takes place on June 7, 2009, and I’ve committed to raise $4,200 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society for the honor of participating and helping this great cause.

Please consider making a donation today to help me fight blood cancers like leukemia and lymphoma.  Your donation is 100% tax deductible, and 73 cents of every dollar goes straight to cancer-fighting research and direct assistance and support for families struggling with these diseases, while the rest helps us promote endurance events around the world to raise awareness of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and the important work they do.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support.

 By the way, does anyone know where I can get a decent pre-owned bicycle?

I have not written much, if anything, on this blog about the child that my wife and I are expecting. Maybe it’s because this is too much of a cat blog already, and maybe it’s out of fear of compromising the little darling’s privacy online before she’s even born. In any case I am incredibly excited and happy about it, so I thought I should finally share.

She’s definitely a Carrier: She’s big, she’s healthy, she has a good head of hair, and she’s late.  The ultrasound technician estimated that she weighs 9 lbs., give or take a pound.  My two sons, now 11 and 13, were 9-10 lbs. each and both born with a full head of hair.  The oldest came about 2 weeks after his due date.  Their father is late for absolutely everything.  And this new baby is definitely a girl; the technician was as certain as one can be from an unltrasound image.

We don’t know when she’s coming.  My money (or at least $3 of it) is on Wednesday.  I hesitate to post the final date and stats on this blog, as date and place of birth are the kind of information now used to verify people’s identity when logging on to one’s bank account.

What do you think of the privacy issues presented by sharing an event like this?  The last thing I want is for someone to a) rob my house while she’s being born or b) stealing the baby’s identity 20 years from now based on our birth announcement being dug out of the Google cache.  Comments?

I’ve let my perfectionism in crafting memorable, remarkable prose get in the way of posting anything for a while. So much is going on in my life right now, it’s hard to sit down and focus on any one thing long enough to write a single-subject post. So here’s a summary.

• With God’s help, my wife and I are having a baby sometime in the next couple of weeks.
• We celebrated my oldest son’s becoming bar mitzvah last Shabbat. He did an outstanding job reading his Torah and Haftarah and leading the service.
• My application to rabbinical schools proceeds apace. I’ve been accepted to one school, and I have an interview at another in the next month or two.
• I’ve been slacking in the exercise and fitness department, but I have big plans for 2009, including several marathons. Stay tuned.
• I’ve been taking a class to prepare for the Beer Judge Certification Program examination. I’m hoping this will give me a broader understanding of the beer world and improve my own brewing.

With luck and perseverance, I’ll expand on the above topics soon. All have had wonderful and abundant effects on my life, many that I’m still unpacking and processing. In short 2008 was one of the best years of my life, and I bet 2009 will be even better. I hope to share it all with you.

Also, I have a new tool for sharing joy and ideas. My wife’s coworkers threw her a baby shower, and among the gifts was a digital camcorder. Jackpot!

Have a great year! I know I will.

I’ve been sitting on this for more than a week, but I have leaked the news slowly to family and friends — which probably includes all eight subscribers to this blog — and I feel the time has come to put in into the ether. Perhaps then it will seem more real.

I have been accepted to the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at American Jewish University in Los Angeles, California, USA.

I flew into Los Angeles right before my marathon in Vegas, had some great conversations with the rabbis on their faculty — great lights in the Conservative Movement and in Am Yisrael as a whole — and also with a really inspiring rabbinical student. Now I’ve been accepted into their program, and I could not be more grateful for or humbled by the application process or its outcome.

I’m still in the process of applying to the Rabbinical School of the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City. It will take a couple of months to know the outcome of that process and make a final decision about where I’ll be studying to become a rabbi.

The punchline (tachlis?) is that, God willing, as of next fall I will be a full-time student again, starting the path toward a life in the service of God and His people. Even though it’s still only a beginning, few moments in my life have made me happier than the phone call notifying me of my acceptance to Ziegler.  Many thanks to the many, many great people who helped make this happen.

It has been just over a week since I ran the Las Vegas Marathon.  Though I’ve long since emptied my suitcase and washed my running clothes, I’m still “unpacking” the experience mentally and emotionally.  I had several incredible experiences leading up to the race and met many great people on my brief trip out West, both related and incidental to the race itself.  For now I just want to recount my experience of the race itself while it’s fresh in my mind.  I’ll continue to “upack” other aspects of the trip as my reflections unfold.

My run: I finished in 5 hours, 35 minutes, and 18 seconds.  I had set my goal time initially at 4:45, following my 5:06 run of the Twin Cities Marathon in October.  After coming down with a chest cold during my training for Las Vegas, I revised my expectations and just hoped to beat my Twin Cities time.  In the end I fell far short of that goal, due to a variety of factors.  First, the whole race is in a high desert climate, with altitudes ranging from around 1,400 feet to around 1,800 feet above sea level.  Consequently there were twice as many water stops (one every mile) as there were in the Twin Cities Maration.  I erred by not adjusting my scheduled walk breaks — 1 minute walking for every 10 minutes running — to account for these extra water breaks, and I wound up walking more than I think I needed to.  Since I have a hard time taking in water, sports drink, and energy gels without walking for 30 to 60 seconds, in future races I’ll be more diligent to deduct my “refueling” walk time from my 10-and-1 walk time.

 The weather: Perfect.  Started in the high 40’s, finished in the low 60’s, and dry but overcast all day.  Only the barren wastes that stretched out beside the road far in the northern suburbs reminded me that I was running in a desert.

The course:  Despite the noted variation in elevation, I didn’t notice any remarkably daunting hills on the course.  It felt really flat, except for a couple of dips under some overpasses.  The whole course was on asphalt-paved roads — easier on the knees than concrete sidewalks — but it was occasionally wise to stick to the middle of the road, as desert roads often are built to be convex so that flash-flood-causing rains will wash down to the sides rather than washing out the road.

The organization:  It was pretty clear that this is only the fourth year of the marathon and the third year of the concurrent half-marathon, compared to this years 27th running of the Twin Cities marathon.  Water stops, while welcome and greatly appreciated, could have been organized better.  By mile four, when runners were starting to get thirsty and before the half-marathon runners split off from the full-marathon runners, water stops brought everyone to a screeching halt while volunteers poured water in to cups for waiting participants, rather than just grabbing cups from great pyramidal stacks.  The relative youth of the race was also apparent in the relative dearth of spectators along the course.  The fans and the volunteers who came out were great, as were the police who did a great job keeping the course clear, but there were a lot more and a lot longer stretches with no cheering fans than you might see in a race of longer standing.

The punchline:  At the end of the 26.2-mile day, I highly recommend the Las Vegas Marathon, especially for first-timers.  It looks like I’ve got a lot of complaints about this race, from my own performace to the organization of the race itself, but all criticism here is to help me learn from my mistakes and help you prepare for the course.  All the dings can be fixed by experience — mine, as well as that of the Las Vegas race organizers.  There’s lots of water along the course, the first few miles are run under fireworks along the famous Las Vegas Strip, and there’s no other marathon on earth where you can take advantage of a run-through wedding chapel or see literally hundreds of Elvis impersonators running along side you.

I’m really glad I did it, and I’d like to run it again next year, only much, much faster.

A quick story about what marathon running means to me:

I was just having lunch with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while, not since before I signed up for my first marathon and joined the elite club of the “Reasonably Fit and Measurably Insane” long-distance runners.  He asked my what my thought process was…why did I get into it, and what do I got out of it.

The first question is easy to answer.  I’d been thinking about running a marathon for a while.  Then my wife and I found out we’re expecting.  Within a few weeks, the first bulge was unmistakable.

Not on her, mind you.  I’m talking about sympathy weight gain — mine.  My waistline was growing faster than hers.  So I signed up for the Twin Cities Marathon, thinking even if I chicken out or hurt myself before I get there (both highly probably events) at least I will have fought off a few extra pounds in the process.  In the end, with much help from God and a little masochism on my own part, I finished my first 26.2-miler.

The second question is harder to answer, because I’ve gotten so much out of becoming a marathon runner.  I’m more fit, more confident, more diligent in pursuing my goals, and yes, mildly smug about the accomplishment.  But above all that, I have to say that this has been the greatest reward:  I’ve been able to reevaluate my personal concept of “possibility”.

When I was in high school, I didn’t think I could run, and I got a doctor’s note (for a “congenital pronated heel”…weak, I know) to get me out of any sport that involved running.  I only made the varsity rowing team because it was the one sport you could do in my school while sitting down.  From then on I never even tried to run, until I met a girl who isa runner.  Soon after, I proposed to that girl, and to get me in shape for our wedding, that girl signed me up for a 10K race workshop.  We finished the race together in under an hour, and after our wedding, we both ran the Twin Cities 10-Mile.  Alas, due to my wife’s wonderful “condition” I had to run the marathon alone.

In finishing the marathon, I crossed a personal frontier.  The kid who thought he could never run became a sedentary adult who still thought he could never run…until I did.  And when I ran 26.2 miles, I cried.  I tried to say a prayer, a blessing that I was saving for the finish line, and I had to start three times before I could finish it.  And I resolved that after that, I would never consider any personal feat of physical or mental endurance “impossible” ever again.

I also resolved that while the first marathon was for me, to show myself I could do it, the rest of my marathons — and God willing, there will be many — will be for others.

Once I decided to run for Chai Lifeline, I saw that are just two races coming up, December 7 in Las Vegas and January 25 in Miami.  Miami is the same weekend as my son’s bar mitzvah; no way I’m traveling then.  But I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to reach the fundraising goal by the Las Vegas deadline of November 30.  I signed up on October 18, near certain that raising $3,600 in just 6 weeks was…well, impossible.  But that wouldn’t stop me from trying.

Five weeks later…56 sponsors have now donated $3,236 to Chai Lifelien on my behalf.  My friends and family have read a lot of long emails, and many have dug deep in their pockets even though times are tough and there are a lot of good causes out there to support.  Many people can’t sponsor me but have offered their heartfelt encouragement because that’s really all they can afford, and their moral support will still carry me across the finish line.  If this is you, don’t worry about sponsorship; just email me a note of encouragement I can print and put in my pocket on race day.  But if you can sponsor me…

Sponsor My Run

I’m confident that it’s going to happen.  I’m going to Vegas, I’m going to run, and I’m going to finish.  Some kids with serious illness and their families are going to get help and support because my friends, family, and colleagues believe in Chai Lifeline and believe in me to pull this off.  All I need now is $414 to honor my fundraising commitment to Chai Lifeline, and $414 in 6 days doesn’t even belong in the same time zone as “impossible”.

If you’re not inspired to give, that’s OK.  If you don’t need the tax break (100% deductible), or you’ve given all you can to another worthy cause, bless you.  If you want to help but you’re out of work and can’t spare a dime, I’ve been there, and I feel you.  But if you’ve been thinking about it, planning to give, and just haven’t found the time yet, please consider clicking the link below and sponsoring me right now:

Sponsor My Run

It only takes a minute, and every single donation is appreciated, no matter how small.  Please do it today and be apart of what’s shaping up to be the most gratifying, humbling, and important thing I’ve ever done.  If you can help me reach this goal, I know you will, because now I know nothing…NOTHING…is impossible.

Sponsor My Run

A couple of months ago I started volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House near the University of Minnesota campus.  On any given night, this house lodges 48 families from all over the US and around the world, so that families can stay close to their children who are fighting a serious illnesses with the help of area hospitals that specialize in treating those illnesses.
 
My job as a housewarmer is to help keep the house clean and organized, the pantries stocked with donated food and supplies, the kids entertained, and the parents comfortable and a little less stressed out.  During my first few weeks there I learned two surprising things.
 
First, Ronald McDonald House does not serve burgers and fries for every meal.  Actually, dinner is made and served every night by volunteer groups from all over the Twin Cities, and the house kitchens are stocked with a variety of nutritious foods for other meals.  Who knew? 

Second, the one thing a kid with a major pediatric illnesses needs (besides treatment) is to just be a normal kid, as normal as possible under the circumstances, and so do their brothers and sisters.

The parents at the house appreciate having a place to stay that allows them to keep their families together while a child receives treatment from a hospital far away from their home, but what the kids really appreciate is Go-Cart Night, Wii Night, Movie night, horsing around in the gym, and dressing up for Halloween. 

These kinds of normal, everyday activities are critical to maintaining the morale of young patients and their young siblings while the whole family works together to fight the illness.

Another important way that a kid can “just be a kid” is to go to summer camp.  You would think that an ordinary summer camp experience is impractical for a kid who needs ongoing medical supervision and treatment.  You would think that an ordinary camp is financially out of reach for siblings in a family whose resources are totally consumed by medical expenses.  I would have thought so, too, until I heard about Chai Lifeline and its flagship programs, Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special. 

Camp Simcha is one of the only camps that can accommodate children in active cancer treatment; camp physicians administer chemotherapy in camp. Camp Simcha Special is the only camp capable of managing more than 65 disparate medical diagnoses.  Like all Chai Lifeline programs, both camps are free of charge to families, and this makes donor support all the more important.

I’m running the Las Vegas Marathon because I’ve seen first-hand how something as normal as summer camp can be at once critically important and seemingly out of reach for familities dealing with major pediatric illness. 

I believe in Chai Lifeline and what they are doing.  I believe in it so strongly that I’m going to run 26.2 miles to promote their cause, and I’m going to tell as many people and send as many emails as it takes to reach my fundraising goal of $3,600 by Chai Lifeline’s deadline of November 30, 2008.

The good news is, I’m 42% of the way there.  So far I have raised $1,503 from 22 sponsors.  If you translate that into a marathon distance, it’s like I’ve already run 11 miles of the total 26.2, and let me tell you, 11 miles is no mean feat.  I am honored and humbled by all the support I’ve gotten so far, but to get the rest of the way, I’m going to need your help.

I know times are tough.  I know $2,097 is a lot to raise in just 17 days.  But I also know it’s worth a shot for the sake of these kids, and I know I can do it with your help.

Remember that your sponsorship of me is 100% tax-deductible, and out of every dollar they donate, fully 83 cents goes straight to Chai Lifeline programs, with the remaining 17 cents going to race registration and administration, which raises awareness of Chai Lifeline on race day in Vegas and in all the communities we runners are coming from.  A friend of mine who works with a lot of charities tells me that a 17% cost of fundraising is extraordinarily efficient in the not-profit world.

To get more information about Chai Lifeline and to donate online, please click this link:
 
http://www.teamlifeline.org/mypage.php?myid=55555

If you’re considering sponsoring me, please do it today.  Many people have told me that they intend to sponsor me — if you already have, thank you — but time is running out, and I have to get all donations to Chai Lifeline by November 30th for it to count toward my goal.
 
Finally, please help me spread the word.  Take a few moments to link to this post on your own site or to email a link  to anyone you know who might feel moved to help Chai Lifeline, who likes the vicarious runner’s high of sponsoring a marathon, or who just needs a tax deduction this year.  Two of my sponsors are people I’ve never met before, meaning there are already those among you who believe in me and Chai Lifeline enough to share this opportunity with others.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for considering sponsoring me as I run in Las Vegas for Chai Lifeline.  I know I can cross the finish line with your help.

I took the GRE last Friday.  I think I did OK, but I’m reserving judgment until I get the score report with percentile rankings and my analytical writing score.  I totally nailed the verbal section, and I think I made a fair show of the essay section, but I choked on the math section – got bogged down on some early problems and didn’t have time at the end — which bugs me because I’m really good at math.  In fact, I didn’t practice for the math section because on my first diagnostic test, I got a perfect score.  Whatevs.  I’ll retake it if the rabbis tell me to.

Yesterday I finished the first draft of all the essays for one of the schools I’m applying to.  This was doubtless the hardest part of the application process, and with the first batch out of the way, I should be primed for the rest.  I celebrated this victory with a couple of glasses of my Hefe-Wit (hefeweizen brewed with orange peel, coriander, and ginger), which has turned out smashingly, thank you for asking.

I’ve given recommendation forms to 2 of the 3-4 people I’ll need recommedations from.

 Today I mailed transcript request forms to 2 of the 3 schools I need transcripts from.  I already have a sealed transcript copies from the remaining school and will forward them with my applications.

Left to do: More essays, a couple more more recommendation requests, and the application forms themselves.  I’m shooting to get it all done by Thanksgiving, so that I can be thankful that I’m done with my rabbinical school applications and concentrate on the marathon coming up in (gasp) just over 3 weeks.